More than just hugs

Posted: September 21, 2010 in Uncategorized
Wedding Cupcakes

Image by clevercupcakes via Flickr

“Go big, or go home.”  It’s something I’ve heard my sports-loving Rad Guy say before, and he’s going all out again.  This Friday, September 24, 2010, on “Hug a Vegetarian Day,” Rad Guy is not going to just hug this vegetarian; he’s going to marry her.

That’s right, kids.  I’m getting married in less than a week.  We are going to the courthouse on Friday, then throwing a big “moving away” party at my soon-to-be-vacated single girl home on Saturday for our friends, family, and co-workers.  It is essentially a surprise reception.  Sometime during the party, when enough people have gathered, I will go change into a big white dress I got for $20 on Craigslist, we will say a few words as a sort of “vow renewal,” and then get back to merrymaking.

We didn’t want rice, garter-throwing, or any other such wedding nonsense, but we did want to celebrate our marriage with our nearest and dearest.  On our own terms.  Without the hideously commercialized craziness of the wedding industry, from welcome bags to cheap trinkets no one wants for favors.  Without stressing about frivolous questions like “what are our colors?” or “how many bridesmaids will you have, and do we have to have equal sides?”  Without patriarchal BS like my dad giving me away (I’m his to give?) or stuff like “to love, honor, and obey.”

We pared it down to the essentials.  We want to get married.  We want to have a party with people we love.  So we did all that, and by not letting many people in on the reception element (just close family, roommates, and some out-of-towners), we avoided all kinds of good-intentioned meddling and stress.  No one needs to wear matching outfits or buy a gift.  I can serve whatever I want (keg beer, veggie sushi, and vegan cupcakes, baby!) without all the attendant classism the wedding would heap on a simple house party.  (I can just hear some of the people on theknot.com now: “how tacky, how trashy, how declasse.  It’s not a real wedding without dinner and a band.  That’s just klassy with a ‘k’.”)

My mom gave me $500 to plan a sweet party at my place.  Think about that!  How awesome of a house party can you have for 500 dollars here in the heartland?  I’m psyched and grateful for that little fund.  On the flip side, what cheap, tacky, trashy wedding reception only costs 500 dollars?  It’s all a matter of perspective.

I choose to see it as awesome.  It’s a rad wedding for two rad people and all their rad friends.  I choose to see it as a great way to start my life, surrounded by people I dig in a low-key environment.

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